What do we say, or do, when we feel the need to say, or do, something – we’d like it to be significant or profound, but we just don’t know what’s right, and we’re afraid we’ll say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing!  Even for those of us who’ve been through a lot… even we don’t know what to say, or do, for others to express our love for them – to let them know we care – to let them know we hurt too – to let them know we hate that they hurt – and the list goes on…  You know… I think the best we can do is keep it simple… perhaps a longer than usual handshake, eye contact… perhaps a card that simply says ‘thinking of you’… perhpas a delivered rosebud (no visit, just the delivery)… perhaps an email… etc. etc.  Do, or say, something!  But don’t say, or do, the wrong thing!  Play it smart.  Don’t use words like ‘I know’, ’I understand’, ‘you must’, ‘I’m sure’…  I believe it’s better to use words like ‘I’m thinking of you’, ‘I’m praying for you’ (but only if you really are!!!), ‘I love you’, ‘I remember’…  you could even drop off (no uninvited, unexpected visits) a watered filled Dr. Pepper bottle with a home-grown flower in it with a little handwritten note, which reads ‘thinking of you.  love, (whoever)’ – it need not be fancy, but it must be genuine.  Did you get that – it must be genuine!  And don’t write it like you’re in a hurry – write it in such a way that makes it look like you took your time – like you wanted to give of yourself, your time - not like you’re rushing out to do something more important.  (I may sound like I’m mad – I am, or at least some of the kinds of things about which I just wrote have made me mad at some point, but no… I’m not mad – not now – it’s more like I’m on my soapbox or something.)  You know… I think the most important thing is #1; remember, #2; let ‘em know you remember, and #3; in a personal way, make ‘em feel special!

Happy Father’s Day to all you guys! 

Sorry I haven’t written in several days – too many, I know… sorry, my bad.  I just returned this afternoon from having been gone eight days – went to Arkansas to go through my parents-in-law’s house.  Got it on the market – fixin it up (to sell).  They lived there forty years!!!!!!!  (My father-in-law died several years ago and my mother-in-law died last August.  Since my (late) wife was their only child, it was up to me to take on the (major) task of closing down the house after all those years, fixing it up (into ‘move in’ condition), and putting it on the market.  So… if you know of anyone in Little Rock who needs to buy a nice home…

On my flight home, I sat next to a fifteen year old boy who has been in foster care for the past five years.  I asked what he was going to do on Father’s Day – he had no idea – don’t even think he knew it was to be Father’s Day…  After about an hour of rich conversation, I suggested that for Father’s Day, he feel – really feel, moreso than ever – the love of the Heavenly Father.  That’s my wish for you as well, on this special night.  Feel His love – He loves you more than anyone!

What’s the difference between giving in and giving up?  And how do you know when to give?

I’m tempted to say we must never give up!  And yet, perhaps we must give up in order to give in – your thoughts???

To give in is not to give up.  To give in is to go with it, for better or for worse.  ‘Course, it’s not a vow – it’s control that we’re giving up.  First, I think we must give up trying to control that, which we can’t control anyway.  Then we give in to the fact that our emotions (for lack of a better word) are out of control.  And we go with ‘em, for better or for worse.  They may be unpleasant, but this too shall pass. 

It’s like a wave that we’re trying to ride – it’s best to hang ten – to put ourselves out there, on the edge.  It’s like an undercurrent – a strong undercurrent.  We can’t see it, but we can surely feel it, and it’s often strong – much stronger than we.  It’s best not to fight this, but rather to give in to it.

Years ago, we took my mother-in-law to the beach, which was out of her comfort zone, but she wanted that experience (once)!  She didn’t want to go past her ankles, but we coaxed her out to about waist-deep… and wouldn’t you know it… here comes a fairly strong undercurrent – something she had never experienced… and she fought it instead of giving in like the rest of us.  And of course, she ended up in a freakin wheel chair for the remainer of the trip!!!  You just gotta give in, but first you may hafta give up…

Experience does in deed help, but we might as well share our experiences – learing from others, allowing them to learn from us – from our experiences.  What good are tough experiences if they can’t be used for the benefit of others?!?!